Day 14: Chanting

So I was going to just write a filler post here (I even started writing one), because my brain wasn't cooperating and then it hit me like a broom to the face. Chanting. Chanting is a perfectly witchy thing to do. I could say my brain is allowed to be absent during it, but that is totally not true. Chanting is one of those things that raises power, but if you are anything like me, and there is a chance that you might be remotely like me, words don't come out right. Or they refuse to leave your mouth the way they are supposed to and you are left fumbling a word so bad the person you are talking to looks at you like you have fell off your rocker and started whacking yourself with it. Yes the hubs has given me that look. I like chanting as a way of raising power because it does not require me to dance, bang a drum, or something. I can't dance, and I don't have a drum. Chanting is also a step a way from singing (in my mind it is), which I do every day even when I sound awful. The hubs' bleeding ear drums are proof of that. Anyway, there it is. Chanting. Yep.

Off to ice my bruise from the broom... Laters. <3

Day 13: Charging Crystals

I love crystals. I really do. They are so pretty and they are like nature's batteries. Great for learning how to feel energy and stuff. Anyway, I was at this wonderful second hand store a few weeks ago and I found this beautiful little rose quartz. I had to get it. It screamed at me. I've been waiting for full moon to charge it, however there are many different ways to cleanse and charge crystals, so I might as well do it tonight!

Isn't it purty!? (It is rose quartz... terrible lighting.)

So I totally had to look up ways to cleanse a crystal that didn't involve the moonlight. I had to rule a few out, seeing as I don't have natural source of water handy. I don't really think the tap counts, and well I live in the desert. Oh look I can use a bell! I have 3 bells... I think I will use my triple goddess one and hope I don't wake the hubs. He might smother me in my sleep when I finally get to bed.

Love the triple goddess symbol.

Okay so the instructions say to ring the bell with the crystal as close to the origin of the sound until I feel the energy of the crystal become clear. Alrighty I am on it! (I do not suggest doing this late at night. It's like making popcorn in the middle of the night... Sounds super loud even though I am sure it isn't that loud.)

Crystal cleansed and charged. Time to go curl up under my warm blanket and cuddle a little with my human heater.

Peace, love, and apple sauce. <3

Not A How To

I just want to point out that when I am doing this 100 days thing, it's a personal challenge, not a how to. I am not doing this to show other beginners, or anyone else how to do this. I am doing this and blogging about my experience with it. This is like my online journal, and it is helping me with staying with something. Maybe when I feel like I have more experience with this religion, and forming my own rituals, spells, and whatever else, I could feel comfortable in teaching others. However, this is just a blog about me trying to keep up with my faith, and showing my take on things. I just wanted to clarify what it was about. I apologize if this post makes little to no sense because my brain is slightly fried, and I am still tired despite going to bed early last night.

Day 8, 9, and 10: Spirituality

First off I would like to apologize for being absent for the last 2 days. I did a 5k... even though I walked most of it, it was still hard on me since I walked faster than I have ever actually walked before. It completely wiped me out. So without further ado I would like to present my take on spirituality.

Spirituality to me is supposed to be easy. Anything that doesn't feel natural to me just doesn't happen. My body and brain blocks it. My brain flat out refuses, and I just don't feel it. I can't force myself into believing in spirit or in any kind of divinity if I just don't believe. Spirituality flows like water through me. I was in the shower a week or so ago, and I was thinking about the deities I believe in and what deity that I wanted to desperately believe in but I couldn't. As soon as I accepted that I couldn't force myself into believing or following this deity, I felt relief. I felt a wash of relief all over my body that made me feel great for acknowledging what was hindering my spiritual growth as an individual. I was forcing myself to include and pray to a deity that I just could not feel or follow. That deity was not my life, or in my life. I stopped my spiritual growth by trying to include a deity I was told to worship. Well that just didn't work.

I just let go. As soon as I stopped forcing my brain and my body to try to feel something and see something that wasn't there, my heart opened up to the deity I felt and saw and embraced in my every day life. I see my  deity every single day in every single thing I do, and see, and be a part of. Even playing video games, or scrap kit making, or anything I do as a hobby. My deity is the Goddess. I know her by no other name other than Goddess. She is my light and dark, and even though I have problems embracing the darkness again, it is still a part of her, and me.

When I talk to my hubs about things that go on in my head, I don't quite know how to tell him about them, and he doesn't quite know what it's like to feel these things either. I never felt these things when I embraced the darkness in my head, instead of shying away like a little rabbit to scared to realize the darkness isn't infinite. There was a time when I was consumed by that darkness and it took me a long time to reach the light, and when I did, I really didn't want to give it up. I am still trying to find a balance. The Goddess has been helping me find this balance between the two. My self destructive behaviors have dropped dramatically. I am not going to elaborate on the self destructive behaviors and just leave those sleeping dogs lie.

Anyway, I guess what I am trying to get at, is don't force belief, and don't force faith. When it's time to believe, to feel, or to have faith, the divine will be waiting to embrace you. And if it's not a divine being, then it's whatever you find to be a source of divinity. Be it plant, machine, or even a person.

<3

100 days of Witchy ways.

What better way than to get rid of a little writers block than to come up with something to do daily? So I am struggling with ways of keeping up with my projects and I keep feeling like I am overwhelming myself. No longer! I am going to start scheduling things, and do them when they are scheduled.

I have started to train for a 5k next month, by doing the Couch to 5k program. I know only a month of training isn't going to have me running the whole 5k, but it's giving me some motivation to keep it up. I wanted to do the Color Run in Reno, but I don't know what happened to it. It disappeared off the Color Run website. Anyway, if I can schedule runs, then I should be able to schedule other things.

Like maybe 100 days of Witchy Ways. I've seen things like 100 days of clean eating, other 100 day challenges. I don't see this as a challenge though. I see this as fun. Just as I see the couch to 5k program. So far I am enjoying it so much I want to do it every day, even though I woke up this morning a bit sore.

So what should this 100 days of Witchy Ways start with? How about a house blessing? I need to do one of those. I am going to commit some time to making a list tonight and post it tomorrow.

Ostara Pictures!

So I totally took pictures of my nature walk and of my Ostara alter. Anyway, here are some pictures of the awesomeness that was Ostara. I know this is a little late but I kept getting side tracked every time I went to do this post! Anyway, here we go.

General windy desert splendor. That is the first sighting of that mysterious rock wall.

A picture of my dog, Mark.

Another Mark picture.

The rock wall, which I have no idea what it is or was. Just that it looks like it caved in.

Another picture of a different angle.

My boys, and Mark.

Another of the boys and Mark.

One of the hubs and my boys.

No there are no pictures of me... all pictures of me get digitally burned. Actually didn't think of taking a picture of me out there. Anyway, my nature walk with the family was fun, even the boys loved it. They keep asking when we are going back out there for another walk. So I guess it's going to be sooner rather than later.

Oh and before I forget! My Ostara Alter.

My eggs are awesome.

So thanks for tuning in for this picture post and I'll be back later with some witty commentary on something. Maybe.

Ostara

(This was supposed to be posted on Monday.... blogger didn't post it... bad blogger no cookie.)
So Ostara is coming up. Excited? Yeah! I get to crochet some Ostara eggs. I know it is so exciting! Shush, crocheting is not just for old ladies. I have some awesome self striping yarns and it's going to be really cool. I'll be sure to get some pictures and upload them for you guys to see. I am not sure what else to do for Ostara. I should probably consult my books and come up with a good plan.

I should just do some more research besides seeing how Easter eggs came to be. They are a sign of fertility you know. Yeah I am sure you did know that. I'll add more to this post when I figure out what else to do for Ostara.

(Today: 3-20)
So I made some Ostara eggs, and I am going to crochet some Easter eggs for the oldest boy's class. Since I am not so newly converted to Wicca, I don't really see a problem with my children celebrating Easter, as in a "Lets get a shit ton of candy and fight each other over eggs" kind of day. Which is how we actually celebrate it anyway. Even when I was younger it was never really religious, and it was more about seeing what the Easter bunny shit out on the sidewalk when he left our baskets. So anyway, both my boys got an Ostara egg, because they thought mommy crocheting little eggs was so awesome, and they kept telling me they wanted eggs. On a tangent: Did you know that crocheted eggs are really aerodynamic and are really accurate when thrown? I didn't either.

Anyway, so my plans for today is going out for a walk in the desert. I normally don't do nature walks and I am sure the hubs is going to look at me like I have gone completely bonkers when I suggest it, but he will still be happy none the less. He likes going for walks but not when he is alone. Because you know when you are alone the werewolves will get you.

Bleeeeehhhh and Spook

Sorry I haven't updated for a while. First I was busy and couldn't think of what to write, then I thought of something I could write, then I got sick. Which is where I am currently. In the land of Sicktopia stuck on the island of Abdominal Distress. I looked my symptoms up on Web MD this morning and it told me that I was having a heart attack and I should dial 911 right away... then I kept reading and it could be abdominal distress which heart attacks are frequently mistaken for, so I am just going to go with abdominal distress since I am still alive now. If I read that last night when I thought I was dying, I would have probably forced the hubs into taking me to the ER. I am not going to go into details about my abdominal distress, but I can say this, I would not wish it on my most terrible of enemy. (I currently don't have a most terrible enemy so I guess that point is moot, right?)

So before I got sick my post was going to be about the spooky and nearly shit myself story about an angry male spirit yelling in my face. So on the morning of Feb 27, I was scared out of bed by a very angry male spirit screaming in my face "Watch it (or "out"), mother fucker!" I immediately sat up, woke the hubs up to see if he heard it. He didn't. I couldn't lay back down. I was thoroughly freaked out, so I went into the kitchen and made some coffee and huddled around it until I could stop freaking out. See that was the scariest spirit experience I have ever had. I have never been yelled at by any spirit ever, and with that level of anger that came of that dude. I shudder even thinking about it. Anyway, so being the smart person I am, before I go to bed I decide to go and take a picture of my side of the bed with my digital camera. Well, that wasn't smart. I look at the picture and I swear I see a pair of eyes looking at me over my side of the bed. I freaked the freak out. The next day, after sleeping so poorly the night before, I convinced the hubs to give me some money to buy a sage stick. I went on my favorite magickal website, and ordered me a smudge stick, a smudge pot and a black feather. I got the sage with sweetgrass. The smudge pot was smaller than I expected, but I didn't really read the description either, so that one was on me. Anyway, so I got it in the next week, and I waited for the right time to smudge. Which presented itself a week later when the hubs took the children to the park.

I light the stick... I light it again.... and again.... and again. What in the actual fuck? I get it to light for two seconds and it goes out, produces little smoke and then goes out completely. Just before I got frustrated, I managed to get it lit and I do a walk through. My nose is a little stuffed this day because this is when I am starting to get sick, so the smoke smells like marijuana to my stuffed nose. I thought for sure one of my neighbors in the complex or maybe even the apartment manager was going to run up to my apartment and bang on the door, wondering why I am smoking it when there is a clear no drugs policy. As I am walking through my apartment I am saying, "If you are nice, you can stay, if you are mean, get out now." I grew up with nice spirits never bothering me, every once in a while getting a little spooked by the odd shape in the corner, but never a full out scream in my face. So I finish the walk through, and I am tired at this time. I snuff my smudge stick and let the smoke drift through the apartment. All windows and most doors are open. Couldn't have the front door open because I don't think my neighbors would appreciate my dog running around and jumping on them while desperately trying to get them to play with him. That dog is a people attention whore. I veg out in front of the computer for a little bit, then I close all the windows and do a happy jig because I can finally go into my bedroom without anyone else. The mean spirit I felt was gone and now I am no longer afraid.

Not sure how to end this whole thing... maybe if you get the shit scared out of you by an angry spirit, tell them to get out and smudge the shit out of your place. Oh and don't Web MD any symptoms for anything. According to them your death is immediate.

Peace, love, and hot dogs.

Facebook Evangelists

Much like Televangelists, there are those people who feel the need to preach their version of religion on Facebook like it makes it easier to get into their version of heaven. The more conversions the more points towards divine ascension into the perfect afterlife. Golden clouds of gooey pleasure, sprinkled with pixie stick crack. I get onto my Facebook, and within 3 minutes of scrolling into what I missed, there is at least one person on their Facebook stage telling the unenlightened masses that Jesus is the one and only true savior, and that through him is the only way into heaven. Well, going through him would be a little hard without a knife, and then you'd have to scrub the blood out of your outfit. I know bad joke. Anyway, normally Facebook preachers don't bother me. The times it does bother me is when my news feed is completely covered in bible verse, and when someone uses those bible verses for hate/bigotry.

I know, maybe I should get new Facebook friends, or maybe block those comments from my screen. The thing is, I generally like the people who spew the verses, because most of the time they don't spew them. The ones who use the bible for hate and bigotry, are usually deleted right after I read their disgusting posts. Sometimes I give them a piece of my mind, but most of the time I don't really bother with it. I also really hate the "If you don't follow my God, you are going strait to hell, you devil spawn." Those make me giggle snort, because we totally quiver in fear of going to a place we don't believe in, and to be tortured by Satan, whom we also don't believe in.

There is one friend on my list in particular, who is particularly awful about it all. He is a very devout Seventh-Day Advent, and constantly remarks about how he is not celebrating pagan sexual whatever when it comes to a holiday of some sort. Drives me up a wall. I don't hate Christians, but this one guy says how much he hates paganism with every post about killing pagan Easter bunnies, and not celebrating pagan sexual rites. (He said that Valentines day is a pagan sexual rite... Sorry hun, do your research, it's purely Catholic in origin.) He doesn't want to be judged or persecuted for his religion or his beliefs, then why judge others? Why tell others if they don't follow his religion that they are going to hell, and they are going to burn? Makes no sense at all.

There are so many parallels between the religions of Earth. Other religions adopt parts of others to help people convert. Most (not all) of the Christian holidays are pagan in origin, even the current calender is pagan in origin. (Wow this blog post turned more serious than I originally intended it to be....)

Tell me what you think about it in the comments section.

Dreams

So I was getting my Ghost Adventures fix last night, and it was a couple of Season 7 episodes dealing with demons and shit. Oh man I was thoroughly creeped out. Creeped out enough to not want to leave dear hubby's side long enough to go pee by myself. To me all of that stuff is not only really possible, but it is actually true. You just don't fuck with that kind of darkness, or even invite it into your life. It is like a hard disease to get rid of, and it clings to the soul like tar. It's why I firmly plant my pagan ass on the light side and don't even try to venture into the grey or black. Curses, hexes, or anything like that, no way. Not touching that with a 1 million foot magickal poll. I don't even want to touch an Ouija board because I've seen too many bad things happen with those.

Anyway back on topic, so I was having weird dreams last night, thanks to my Ghost Adventures fix. I was being chased by people, and I hid in this house, which turned out to be their safe house. (wtf) I found this little kid in there and the kid was taken by them. So the kid and I hide in this thing, and of course they find us in there. I wait until a lull in their activity and we run. It was at this point that I woke up.

Weird. o.O

Twitter Is Anti Pagan

I have come to realize that Twitter is anti-pagan. It actually suggested that I follow Reverend Al Sharpton.

Yes that did happen.

What in the crap?! I follow pagans, wiccans, witches, and random celebrities (only one of which I have actually internet stalked to the point I creeped myself out...). So from this I deduce with no factual evidence, Twitter is anti pagan and actually doesn't like my choice of religion or politics and wants me to follow this guy who would be so against everything I have to say... Except for maybe no more racism. Because that shit sucks.

Intro

So this first post I am going to put up here is going to be a quick intro to me, and to what I hope to accomplish (if anything) with this blog.

Here I am, quirky, slightly sarcastic and entirely full of shit. My name is Nichol, and yes it is a different spelling, which some people have a hard time remembering. Like my high school English teacher. I love her to death, and she was one of the biggest influences in my life, but that woman could never remember the spelling of my first name. Especially since I had her for all 4 years of various English/Creative writing classes. I have been into Wicca and Paganism since I was a teen, and just recently as in last year, I started to try to practice it. I say try only because I suck at follow through on things, and planning ahead is really not my strong point. I am a fly by the seat of my broom kind of person. See what I did there? Yeah I used a pagan reference. That totally gives me pagan points. My life is fueled by peanut butter sandwiches, cartoon movies, and a mainline of some sort of caffeine into my system. My two wonderfully awesome, yet psychosis inducing children are the reason why I can make peanut butter sandwiches blindfolded, and recite nearly all cartoon movies by heart. My oldest, 5, has Autism, it is high functioning, and it's not a crutch for him, and no I don't hate it. It makes him unique in that fabulous one of a kind way. My youngest, 3, is as strange as they come. The other day he told me he was a Vampirate, which is so utterly fantastic and hilarious, there is no way he can't be mine. My husband and main squeeze, some how puts up with my random outbursts of weirdness, and loves me despite it. He takes me with a grain of salt, and two xanexs. Actually that last part isn't really that true, it's only one xanex and a large jack n coke. Okay fine, he doesn't take xanex and he rarely ever drinks and if he does, it's just a beer.

Onto what I hope to accomplish with this blog... I am not sure I hope to accomplish anything except put out my brand of humor and throw a random pagan twist onto things. I don't really take a lot of shit the wrong way, and I am sarcastic to a fault. I really enjoy tongue in cheek humor, and pretending to take things the wrong way just to make a fuss for no other reason than the entertainment value, and to see people's reactions. Some people are just too serious. Seriously.

In closing, I am witty, hilarious, and awesome. Even if it is in my own mind. So if you feel up for it, join me in my struggles to find the humor, and throwing a pagan twist on just about everything. <3