Bleeeeehhhh and Spook

Sorry I haven't updated for a while. First I was busy and couldn't think of what to write, then I thought of something I could write, then I got sick. Which is where I am currently. In the land of Sicktopia stuck on the island of Abdominal Distress. I looked my symptoms up on Web MD this morning and it told me that I was having a heart attack and I should dial 911 right away... then I kept reading and it could be abdominal distress which heart attacks are frequently mistaken for, so I am just going to go with abdominal distress since I am still alive now. If I read that last night when I thought I was dying, I would have probably forced the hubs into taking me to the ER. I am not going to go into details about my abdominal distress, but I can say this, I would not wish it on my most terrible of enemy. (I currently don't have a most terrible enemy so I guess that point is moot, right?)

So before I got sick my post was going to be about the spooky and nearly shit myself story about an angry male spirit yelling in my face. So on the morning of Feb 27, I was scared out of bed by a very angry male spirit screaming in my face "Watch it (or "out"), mother fucker!" I immediately sat up, woke the hubs up to see if he heard it. He didn't. I couldn't lay back down. I was thoroughly freaked out, so I went into the kitchen and made some coffee and huddled around it until I could stop freaking out. See that was the scariest spirit experience I have ever had. I have never been yelled at by any spirit ever, and with that level of anger that came of that dude. I shudder even thinking about it. Anyway, so being the smart person I am, before I go to bed I decide to go and take a picture of my side of the bed with my digital camera. Well, that wasn't smart. I look at the picture and I swear I see a pair of eyes looking at me over my side of the bed. I freaked the freak out. The next day, after sleeping so poorly the night before, I convinced the hubs to give me some money to buy a sage stick. I went on my favorite magickal website, and ordered me a smudge stick, a smudge pot and a black feather. I got the sage with sweetgrass. The smudge pot was smaller than I expected, but I didn't really read the description either, so that one was on me. Anyway, so I got it in the next week, and I waited for the right time to smudge. Which presented itself a week later when the hubs took the children to the park.

I light the stick... I light it again.... and again.... and again. What in the actual fuck? I get it to light for two seconds and it goes out, produces little smoke and then goes out completely. Just before I got frustrated, I managed to get it lit and I do a walk through. My nose is a little stuffed this day because this is when I am starting to get sick, so the smoke smells like marijuana to my stuffed nose. I thought for sure one of my neighbors in the complex or maybe even the apartment manager was going to run up to my apartment and bang on the door, wondering why I am smoking it when there is a clear no drugs policy. As I am walking through my apartment I am saying, "If you are nice, you can stay, if you are mean, get out now." I grew up with nice spirits never bothering me, every once in a while getting a little spooked by the odd shape in the corner, but never a full out scream in my face. So I finish the walk through, and I am tired at this time. I snuff my smudge stick and let the smoke drift through the apartment. All windows and most doors are open. Couldn't have the front door open because I don't think my neighbors would appreciate my dog running around and jumping on them while desperately trying to get them to play with him. That dog is a people attention whore. I veg out in front of the computer for a little bit, then I close all the windows and do a happy jig because I can finally go into my bedroom without anyone else. The mean spirit I felt was gone and now I am no longer afraid.

Not sure how to end this whole thing... maybe if you get the shit scared out of you by an angry spirit, tell them to get out and smudge the shit out of your place. Oh and don't Web MD any symptoms for anything. According to them your death is immediate.

Peace, love, and hot dogs.

Facebook Evangelists

Much like Televangelists, there are those people who feel the need to preach their version of religion on Facebook like it makes it easier to get into their version of heaven. The more conversions the more points towards divine ascension into the perfect afterlife. Golden clouds of gooey pleasure, sprinkled with pixie stick crack. I get onto my Facebook, and within 3 minutes of scrolling into what I missed, there is at least one person on their Facebook stage telling the unenlightened masses that Jesus is the one and only true savior, and that through him is the only way into heaven. Well, going through him would be a little hard without a knife, and then you'd have to scrub the blood out of your outfit. I know bad joke. Anyway, normally Facebook preachers don't bother me. The times it does bother me is when my news feed is completely covered in bible verse, and when someone uses those bible verses for hate/bigotry.

I know, maybe I should get new Facebook friends, or maybe block those comments from my screen. The thing is, I generally like the people who spew the verses, because most of the time they don't spew them. The ones who use the bible for hate and bigotry, are usually deleted right after I read their disgusting posts. Sometimes I give them a piece of my mind, but most of the time I don't really bother with it. I also really hate the "If you don't follow my God, you are going strait to hell, you devil spawn." Those make me giggle snort, because we totally quiver in fear of going to a place we don't believe in, and to be tortured by Satan, whom we also don't believe in.

There is one friend on my list in particular, who is particularly awful about it all. He is a very devout Seventh-Day Advent, and constantly remarks about how he is not celebrating pagan sexual whatever when it comes to a holiday of some sort. Drives me up a wall. I don't hate Christians, but this one guy says how much he hates paganism with every post about killing pagan Easter bunnies, and not celebrating pagan sexual rites. (He said that Valentines day is a pagan sexual rite... Sorry hun, do your research, it's purely Catholic in origin.) He doesn't want to be judged or persecuted for his religion or his beliefs, then why judge others? Why tell others if they don't follow his religion that they are going to hell, and they are going to burn? Makes no sense at all.

There are so many parallels between the religions of Earth. Other religions adopt parts of others to help people convert. Most (not all) of the Christian holidays are pagan in origin, even the current calender is pagan in origin. (Wow this blog post turned more serious than I originally intended it to be....)

Tell me what you think about it in the comments section.